Toxic masculinity is the concept of men adhering closely to exaggerated traits that are often characterized as masculine, resulting in negative personal, interpersonal, and societal consequences. Some of these traits include strength, dominance, lack of emotion, and [hetero]sexual virility. Common expressions of toxic masculinity are forms of aggression, like bullying, physical altercations, and domestic and sexual violence. Men also are discouraged from engaging in emotional or intellectual conversations, which results in a suppression of emotions and can greatly impact their mental health. All of these aspects of toxic masculinity have been deemed as normal for men to experience and to perpetuate. It is often overlooked because of just how normalized it is.
There are stark consequences of toxic masculinity on the perpetuation of sexual violence in our society. Some aspects of toxic masculinity, such as aggression and sexual and social dominance over others, directly lead to forms of sexual violence, particularly sexual harrassment, coercion, and sexual assault. Oftentimes, these expressions of dominance occur from a place of insecurity and fear of losing that control or power over others. Especially with the occurrence of rejection from a potential sexual partner, perpetrators of sexual violence utilize this internalized sense of dominance to assert themselves and prevent this rejection from impacting their ego. Instead of looking inwards to solve these feelings of insecurity, toxic masculinity prevents men from engaging in healthy and productive coping, and in turn subjects other people to dangerous outcomes of this insecurity. Other aspects of toxic masculinity like extreme competitiveness can lead to increased rates of sexual violence. Common conversations among men surround the number of women they have slept with, when they lost their virginity, what sexual acts they have performed, and other comparisons of sexual activity amongst each other. These conversations extend past teenage and college years, as exemplified by the “locker talk” that Donald Trump deemed as normal conversations in his adult life. These competitive conversations that encourage men to prove their sexual virility often lead to unhealthy and unsafe engagement with sexual partners, since the goal is not to have a consensual and enjoyable sexual experience, but to simply check a box to prove their manhood. These are only a few examples of how toxic masculinity contributes to the existence of sexual violence and why it is so hard to overcome it.
Sexual violence impacts people of all different gender identities, and so does toxic masculinity. Thus, it is important to recognize the impact that toxic masculinity has on male survivors of sexual violence. After an assault, male-identifying survivors of sexual violence are particularly affected by the extra set of barriers that toxic masculinity presents. Because men are not typically socialized to recognize themselves as being at risk of assault, when they are assaulted, it often triggers more feelings of shame, stigma, and weakness. This also can mean that male survivors will take longer to disclose their assault or seek help, and will be left to deal with the trauma and fallout after assault on their own.
Because toxic masculinity is a societal issue that individuals cannot alone perpetuate but requires active engagement by groups, solving the issue will require the same change on a societal level. It will require unlearning the toxic traits and actions of masculinity and creating a healthier narrative on how to live in the world as men. Some ways to begin this change is to create safe spaces for men to express all of their emotions and insecurities, and to discourage violence and aggression in young children by providing alternative coping skills. It will be a long journey to break down toxic masculinity, but it is crucial to ending sexual violence once and for all.
For more on how toxic masculinity impacts male survivors of sexual violence, you can read here:
https://barcc.org/blog/details/how-toxic-masculinity-hurts-male-survivors-and-what-can-help
Julia Kopala
My name is Julia, and I am currently working in Boston as a special education teacher. I joined Survivors to Superheroes because I am a survivor myself who did not have any support or resources to understand the gravity of the situation I was in. I want my writing to empower and validate the diversity of experiences and identities that survivors hold, amplifying the idea that healing is possible. Outside of the organization, I find joy in hiking, reading, and mentoring students!
